So today will probably be the day i lose one the best women in my life. My mammaw Joyce. It's so hard to see and hear my mom's voice go through it too. I don't even want to imagine going through it. Thus year has been so tossed up for me. It want's to be good but hen bad takes over and triumphs. Man life is too short. it's not fair that you can work so hard and still not have the results you want. But people who don't even attempt get shit handed to them. I just don't understand for real. I write letters to God and I know he listens cause he clearly read the last one I wrote him because I got a quick response. I dont want an answer anymore. I want help. I need it. I'm so frustrated that nothing can calm me down. I cant focus. School sucks. Im ready to quit and do what I know best. I hate everything. I hate it. Why me. Why do I got to be put through this all and never get a damn thing I want. If this is as good as it gets then what the fuck am I doing it for? Smh a waste of mytime! Im so angry! Im so fed up! Im so disappointed. Im so tired. Just ready for all this bull shit to stop happening and to have continuous good things happen. No stipulations no this for that. Im so greatful for all i have really but damn why do I work so damn hard and still nothing. I don't know I guess I have to wait for the Lord above to answer me....
Sincerely
Wendy Leigh
New Era
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Halloween Day 2011
Well its been over a month since I have updated my blog/diary. Ummm yeah a lot has definitely happened. So much I don't even know where to start. The first thing on my mind is Clarence:). Tomorrow November 1st marks 6 Years that me and him have been back and forth. It's crazy. I'm still confused about him but I know I love him and that is enough for me right now. i just want to be with him but its unrealistic. So it's a "For Now" thing. Man I thought I was really pregnant. I was a whole week late on my period an I'm still feeling weird though. He don't need no more kids and I don't need any yet. Amyway School is definitely getting hectic. I'm slacking for sure! I don't want to do anything and I have been procrastinating alot! I need to get it together like asap. I lost my apartment keys too. Smh. My mammaw isn't really doing to good either. She's been in hospice since about March but they told mom they don't think she'll make it to Christmas. Which is heartbreaking. & my mom is devastated. Mammaw is her world besides Brayleigh. I don't even know what to think about that. It's freaking crazy. I have been so emotional lately too. i cry about everything and just a lot of stuff has been not going my way. it leans toward me and then just goes away. I get one step and then pushed far back. i found diaries that prove I am stuck in the same place Ive been in. I need something to move me forward!! i need something! =( Just gotta keep it pushing it! The song I'm bout to post is for my first love, the one who will always have a piece of my heart no matter what!Clarence Eugene Davis Jr.
Love Always-N-Day
Wendy Leigh
Love Always-N-Day
Wendy Leigh
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Update of The CRAZINESS
So My last post I expressed the ups and downs of my crazy feelings and everything that was currently going on and I just want to start by updating that. I was able to make it to Dante's funeral but I couldn't go up to the casket. I sat in the 3rd row facing him so I stared at him the whole time just saying how unreal it was and he looked weird not like Dante but it was. I still don't feel like it's real! I just wish he could of got to come to Miami one time! When I told him happy bday last year he said he wanted to come down and party with us. its still heart breaking and it really is something that is going to take time to register and really try to get over. I hope Joey is caught though and soon before his life is taken as well. You can't solve violence with violence. To get out all the bad, Jaquetta *aka* Jae is in a rough place right now. I tweeted that"It's hard to see someone you was once so close with hit rock bottom, when you didn't even know they was going through it." She has a warrant for prostitution, theft and I think drugs. Which is definitely not what I would have ever seen her doing with her life. All I been thinking about lately is writing a song with her and having her sing. I hope I get a hold of her soon. or at least her dad! I don't know if he know's whats going on with her. If he don't respond soon I'm going to have to contact her brothers frank or Chaz. I don't even know. I just am lost with it right now. I'll be praying for her. On a brighter note, Cadence is getting sooooo big and even more beautiful. Ima post a pic of her on here. So all my babies will be on here. This weekend also I went to North Carolina to see my brother with my other brother. It was cool! It's crazy how all that driving can bring two people closer! I love my brothers. Hopefully soon my mom can understand that and just accept that they are a part of me and I love them they same as my sisters and her. They had nothing to do with the situation between her and Alan. They were brought into it innocently. & they are more than welcomed to be in my life and they will be! But north Carolina is Nice. I don't know about moving there. it's far as hell! But I could definitely see myself moving to a bigger city close to Zanesville. Or even in a neighboring state of Ohio. I'm taking my Lyrie boo and Tee Bee with me tho! I'm about to start working too cause this no income thing is not working for me. I need cash. & I'm staying in Oxford this weekend so it'll be weekend 2 that im not going home. Trying to stay here til the 14th which is fall break. I'm still sick which sucks!!! Hopefully it will be over soon! Like real soon! Anyway I'm going to end on that note! Just Praying....
Love Always -N- Forever
Wendy Leigh
Love Always -N- Forever
Wendy Leigh
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
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