It's Me.. ALL ways Me!

So NO MORE classes for the spring of 2011!! =) Yeaaaaaah!! Anyway I got 2 exams that I gotta go hard on! Extra Hard! Especially my Sociology class. A requirement for my major is to pass that class with a C or better and nothing less than an A is gona fly for this one!! SO I gotta go hard! and I still have my Parenting exam! I wish I could get an A in there so I could have two A's and it would pull my Gpa up. Gotta send my app in tomorrow for this scholarship first thing in the AM. I'm to go crazy cleaning!! I need to so i can organize my stuff for when mom comes down and we pack everything up!! SO sad that I'll be back home for the summer at my parents. I put in two job apps today. WIsh I could get one asap lol so I didn't have to worry abt traveling!! I pray God works in my favor!! Well Lauren and Haley are still in the running for American Idol!! That's my concern! I want one of them to take it all the way! Good Luck and Prayers to them!! I gotta call about getting a gym pass for the summer! I need to be working out everyday! I gotta change! I have no choice. I don't want to be like my real dad. I need to get myself healthy!! It's too crazy!! Plus I want to look and feel good about my body!! and myself! Well I can't think of what I am going to say next so I'm goign to sign out!

Love Always-N-Forever

Wendy Leigh <3

Sammie - Just Be Friends (NoShout) [NEW] [2011]

.... Hate these 4 words "Let's Just Be Friends"....

Anger is motivation

The anger inside of me sooo strong, I'm afraid that it's going to over come me soon and that's just not how I want to be seen or seem. But I guess I have to do what I have to do to express myself.. I am stalling on my own behalf of insecurities. Why me? Trying to figure out what to do for real because I need to grip on things like asap. My day dreaming is taken control of my mind. I need to suppress the dreaming for like a week to see my productivity. I need to do something fast. To-do list is definitely going to include some in depth processes to start some progression. Maybe I should treat it as a disorder that I need to be treated for. Admitting I have a problem is the first step to recovery right? I know I need to stop trying to impress everyone around me and just worry about how I'm going to impress myself. I can't remember feeling good about something I was proud of that I did. Which sucks. Church on Sunday set off a thought process that stemmed to crazy things. All I can say is I pray God some how see's me struggling and asking for help and pulls through for me. I really need it right now because I don't know how much longer I can hold it all in. The verge of breaking down....

Love Always-n-Forever
Wendy Leigh




say whats on your heart if your real, cause the scars you cant see be the hardest to heal- Fabolous,(thats not love)

Dreams or Nightmares

I have let my time be consumed with use less things. I have one more week of class left and I haven't even packed yet. My room is actually still a huge mess and I need to get to it! I also have to do 2 study guides for Soc and Fsw. I need to utilize my time a little more. Im so freaking tired right now and im in philosophy class that I hate!! I can wait for it to be over! Im going home tho! and its Easter weekend. I hope that I didnt wait too long to get gas at $3.53. Brent said it was $3.89 in the ville!! ughhh too expensive! I need to get another job asap! Thats what this weekend is all about! Im getting my scholarship papers filled out and turned in and apps turned in!! My stomach feels so flip floppy! Ughhh I think its the hawaiian punch im drinking. Should throw it away and drink this water. No pop though!! Im done with it! my summer plan is set now!! I have no room to play!!I need to go get this gym pass! My eyes are burning im so tired right now. I keep gettin on and off facebook so people will stop writing me. I need to move to england or canada and get their health insurance. I know Im going to start my period this weekend too! I'm getting a headache from her.. bout to sleep till this class is over!! 30 minutes sound s sweet! lol

TTYL
Love Always-n-Forever
Wendy Leigh

Chris Brown - She Can Get It (FULL VERSION) [NEW SONG 2011]

Mmmm Chris B.

.....Trust Issues.....

Okay so it's Monday Night, # more FSW 365 Classes, 2 more SOC 151 classes, 3 more PHL Classes and # FSW 381 classes! REALLY excited but kind of nervous.. I need a job in Zanesville ASAP. I wish I could get a job at the mall but not dealing with food. Smh Just my luck tho right? I need to get this car sold and get my impala... I just am at a stand still almost or at least thats What i feel like. Chelsea moved out and didnt even tell us and took stuff that didnt belong to her. I'm watching Ghost Whisperer, So I am going in and out of writing. I really have a lot to say I just don't know what right now. I have been day dreaming a lot so my thoughts aren't relevant to write about. Ohh Easter is this weekend. I need to wash Bray's Dress Cause were going to church which also means I need to find Something to wear. I was thinking about not going home but We'll see cause i think Im just gona stay til Monday. I guess my mom is gona get me a new bed that way I aint on the floor. I need to go to the Financial aid office tomorrow and see if I can get my budget higher so I can take one class during the summer online. I need to get an A+ and 4.0 so I can get my gpa high to Pledge a sorority. I think I'm gona take down all mirrors around me. I'm tired of always degrading myself on my looks. I need to just change it. Thunder storm just scared the crap out of me. Anyway Ima brush my teeth and lay down. Good Night

Love Always N Forever

Wendy Leigh

K. Michelle - Its All About Me (New 2011)

... It's all about me now!!

TIME...OUT

So last night I should have updated but I didn't. So I came home for the weekend. Bray is sick again!! Everytime I get around her I get sick again!! SMH Anyway. I realized when I wake up earlier the day goes slower! I need to get up early tomorrow and go to the bank, hopefully it's open because I have to get those scholarship applications. Went to the movies today with Kamaria, Kamden, Corey Shay, Lindsie C., And Cheryl. We seen RIO. It's a cute little movie! Thing is I didnt want to be in the mall but I was with chub and I seen Jordan, Antman, Steven, and Josh and wow did I look hit. This is where my insecurities come in cause I did not want to see them! I am so big now =(. 3 more weeks and it's shed the pounds time. I need to diagram and set rules og how I am going to do this so I succeed. I need to find a job too so I can get a new car! I cleaned mine out and now need to vacuum it out and take pics and put them on craigslist see if I can't get someone to bite! BIG paper due Monday and a Quiz for SOC. Got Kamaria with me now, she K.O. on me. Then went to Shelley's for a little bit.. Forgot BOB again!! Want to bet that Chelsea nor Todd Did the dishes or took the trash out? Or got trash bags for that matter? Trifflin as ever! I am soooo tired! I need to just lay down! start fresh in the morning. Bout to change sooooo I'm bout to find a song and post it!!
~GOD BLESS~

G'Nite Love Always-n-Forever

Wendy Leigh

Trey Songz - Daddy Can I Get It (Unseen)

TIRED!!

Okay so it's finally Thursday ( only because its after midnight) Oh well I'll take it! I know when I wake up in the morning I'll end up going back to sleep ina different city! a City known as Home!!! Yesss! Anyway I finished my philosophy paper.. Maybe she wont know I just rewrite the words of some sight?? Idk but at this point I just want some credit. I got a BIG paper due this Monday coming. My final for FSW 365, *aka* Sex class. I don't even know what I am writing about and I have my last quiz for Sociology. I am determined to get a 55! hell a 50. I need this next quiz and last exam Ins SOC to make it outta that class alive!! I have decided I want to Pledge Delta. Either Fall '11 or Spring '12. Better late than never right?? I figure I will be here another semester at the least cause you know I am slow!! Hopefully get my Major all sorted out. I have to go to Financial aid office first thing Monday morning! I need to take at least one online class this summer so I can get a 4.0 and upgrade my GPA to even pledge delta and change my major. I have big plans!! I just hope God stays by my side and guides me through his steps of life he is letting me decide!! BIG sigh!! I need to shower and stuff. I am debating if I am gona do these dishes cuz I know I am just going to get stuck doing them over and over again. I can't believe after tomorrow I will only have 2 more weeks of this semester! and 3 weeks in this apartment really! Crazy Crazy!! Anyway I wanted to update so ima go!! Remember PUT GOD FIRST!!

Love Always-n-Forever
Wendy Leigh =)

*****G'Nite****

Mission POSSIBLE!!

SO I'm actually just chillin, watching the Nanny and listening to new music. I am on a mission!! Loose weight! I got this summer to prove to myself that graduating the way I want is reachable!! I need this confidence! I want it! I'm going to have it! I am so tired though! This semester is a killer. I need to improve a few things for my last year! Man reality is crazy! The real world scares me! Hopefully i'm cut out for this! With god all things are possible though so I know it's all in faith! I can;t for some odd reason get Jamel out of my head. This sucks for real. I feel like I need to prove myself and show him how much he lost by dissing me. Then again I had my hopes too high. He don;t date girls like me so I guess that was wishful thinking(Tyniska Keli). I keep getting distracted. I feel like these next two weeks is about to be crazzzzzy! I need to get this stuff together! Home this weekend though! See my beautiful niece and god daughter! Job applications and Scholarship applications! I want to get my grind on this summer! hopefully I can get a full time job and get a new car!!! Plus save some up for school!! I am gona come back to Miami University feelin like a TRILLION DOLLARS! Determined and Ready to go!!! I'm bout to go to bed! Prolly an allnighter tomorrow to do this philosophy paper and get started on my research paper plus gotta clean and do laundry. Maybe pack a few things up! So TTYL

R.I.P Koeta Pettiford! May God ease all your pain!

Love Always-n-Forever
Wendy Leigh <3

Hulkshare.com Chipmunk - Take Off (Ft. Trey Songz).mp3

Hulkshare.com Chipmunk - Take Off (Ft. Trey Songz).mp3 Just a lil some different =)

Kirk Franklin - I Smile (Lyric Video)

Today's a new day But there is no sunshine...

Exertion

I am physically, mentally,and emotionally tired from everything right now. I have completed my medicine and I still feel like crap. Still can't breath. Now back to feeling congested and lightheaded. I'm tired of using this nasal spray. It says its dangerous to use more than 3 days but I have been using it for over a week and a half now. It's the only thing that helps me from having a nervous break down and anxiety attach because I just want to cry and scream and hit something when I feel like this. I just don't handle it well. I make people think I can though by not showing it in front of them because i don't want people thinking i'm crazy =/. The house is a mess. I haven't cleaned because well.... I am the only one who does clean it!! and I'm sick of cleaning it!! But I know I will clean probably. Or leave it the way it is an just leave for the weekend and see of ol' lazy ass Chelsea will clean. I won't hold my breath on that one though!! I think Im going to have to start wearing my glasses though cause I can't even see the tv letters on the guide any more from where the couch is and I squint in lass to see the notes on over head projectors. Something that is pissing me off is this Philosophy class. I hate philosophy and I hate Sociology! I can;t wait till I am no longer in neither class. I need to meet with Michelle soon. I also need to call that dude Doug wanted me to tomorrow! only 3 more weeks of this school year then home for the summer! Hopefully a hard working summer because I want a new car! I never expected instant gratification for anything but if I could get it right about now it would be a blessing that I couldn't stop appreciating! Everything is just so hard! I need a break from my life. School, work, bills, money, friend, family,... it's all building up and I feel like I am going to lash out at the wrong person for something stupid. But!! Tamara on the other hand, see look when she pays that 400 at the end of this month I'll stop making nice cause this is starting to annoy me! I do a lot for others including her and I just get taken advantage of! I'm sick of it. I was going to cut all ties a long time ago but my horoscope said don't burn your bridges so I didn't but I am not going to tolerate this anymore! It's me time and if others can't accept that then all I have to say is Bye! I just heard a train! I'm tired and got a lot to do tomorrow and I need to go to sleep so on that note Im going to add a song to my page and go to bed!!

God Bless,
Wendy Leigh

Waste of Blessings....

I was listening to A song called "Let Go" by Dewayne Woods and I love it. I feel like once I let go and Let God I will have happiness but I have to trust him I have to stop thinking this is my fight. I'm only here because of him. I am in his battle. As much as I can think this is about me, it's not but I am focused on making me a better me so that way I can give the best me to him! I have to change a lot of my ways. I have to do things and not do things I would or wouldn't normally do. I have to sacrifice to gain! I have plenty of motivation just no real push to do it. Where do i get this push? Who do I turn to? I have no clue But I have no choice but to do this!! God give me the strength to do this for you and for me! In your name I pray!!

AMEN!!
Love Always-n-Forever
Wendy Leigh

A Change

Death always makes you feel like you need to change. How do I know the next time I get in my car i won't get hit by another car and die. How do i know someone won't break in with a gun and shoot me?, How do i know I won't fall asleep and forget to breath? I need a change. i need to enjoy my life, I need to believe in myself. I need God. I talk to him a lot but I haven't given myself to him. When i get home I need to find a church. A Job and a Church. I have faith that if I believe I will achieve. I need this change! I need this with everything!

Love always
Wendy Leigh

Shawn Stockman - Stand

God's light is greater than your darkness!!

Mariah Carey;Joe;98 Degrees - Thank God I Found You

I dont know why but this song means so much to me

Thee Most Random Thoughts...

So I am watching Ghost Whisperer which is one of my faves now. I have seen almost all of them. Wish I had em on DVD.It was thunder storming and I decided to open the door and listen to it but it has stopped. I realized that i talk about irrelevant stuff so i don't say what I really want to say that way I don't have to deal with the emotions. And Now as I watch my show I am day dreaming. About things that will never happen, things that could happen if I allowed it, things that seem so unrealistic. I guess I need to pour my heart out to realize what I really want huh? This one thought keeps going through my head even though I haven't thought about it in so long. Freshman year of college me and Chels were going back and forth about a bunch of drama that Durriyyah started and I wrote a note on facebook and then she turned around and wrote one as well. She said a lot of things in there but the couple things she said stuck in my head because they were the truth. I live through other people because my life sucks. No one wanted to be around me because I was a bitch and they would have to convince people to want to be around me cause they didn't want to diss me. I realize that maybe that's still true but for different reasons now. I feel like my appearance plays a large role in why I don't do things now personal and socially because I know people don't want to be seen with me. Of course everyone wants to be seen with a beautiful girl and I am far from that! FAR FROM IT and i just don't want people to feel pressured to be around me. I haven't had a real boyfriend, I don't go out. I realized most of this after Jamel. I can't believe How much I really loved him. or should I say love him. It never stops. I kept telling myself after he told me there was never gona be anything between us that if I lost weight it would be already, i i had sex with him it would be alright that he would be with me after all he told Tamara he was thingking about making me his girlfriend after summer was over. But I was wrong. It drove me into depression. Drove me to eat, which shows me that I am an emotional eater. I have the drive and determination to do what I need to make my life what I need it to be but I am not strong enough to actually do it. I can pray a thousand times. I ask god and people that have passed to help me. I have asked people who are living still to help me but then I realize I can only help me. I know nothing in life is easy but I'm scared of disappoint. What if it doesn't change anything? I am so insecure about myself. I wonder sometimes how my own family actually loves me. I am so ugly why waste their time on me. Then their is my mom. It's like no matter she just won't give up on me. I feel like a complete disappoint to her. I feel like she lives through me and shes such a strong person why can't I be like her? Why can't I make her truely proud, why can't I make myself happy for once. I look in my nieces eyes and I just want so much different for her. I want her to have that role model in her life telling her it's alright to make mistakes and to show her I have been there but I feel like that can't be that. I feel like a complete failure. And on that note...

Ciara - Homie & Lover Type

I'm what your lookin for, The homie and lover type...